Today has not been the greatest day to say the least. Actually it’s been an awful day. I decided to cut all ties with someone I truly love. If you have been reading my blog, you probably know that I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and it’s been tough on me. We tried to get a friendship going and trust me, I really wanted to make it happen but I just couldn’t. It was too soon for me. So this morning, I let him go… I let go of the one person I’m still in love with. Some people tell me “Why can’t you let go? It’s not like you guys were together for years!” Well these people just don’t understand. I don’t take love lightly. Maybe some guys do, but I sure don’t. When I fall for someone, I fall and if he doesn’t catch me, then I crash, and I crash hard and that’s where I’m at right now. I’m crashing.
This morning, I sent him a message explaining the reason why I had to let him go. I was hoping for him to fight for me, I’m not gonna deny it, but it didn’t happen. The thing is I’m still hoping that one day, he’ll message me to tell me how much he misses me, that I’m very important to him and that he really wants to work on a friendship. I’m really hoping for that but I know it probably won’t happen. So yeah, life is gonna be miserable for a bit. I won’t be able to talk to him everyday like we used to and that part is gonna suck tremendously. He was my everything and we had the greatest time together.
This afternoon, I also got a call from my parents saying that one of my dad’s cancer was back and growing even faster. So I’m dealing with this as well and I can’t help much because my parents are in France and I’m in the US. My heart is crying so hard today and I feel extremely lonely. I have friends and they have been so sweet to me but I still feel alone. I feel empty. Definitely the worse timing for everything to happen now. So what to do? I don’t really know…
- Steve's Stuff (111)